(«Although many of the thoughts set forth in this consideration are touched upon in the preceding ones, it is nevertheless helpful to gather them together here, in order to overcome the usual deceptions with which the devil is wont to induce sinners to fall back»).
Point I
Let us imagine that a young man, having fallen into grave sins, has already confessed them and has already recovered the grace of God. The devil tempts him again to fall back: the young man still resists, but he is already wavering because of the deceptions that the enemy suggests to him. Young man, I say, tell me what you wish to do? Do you now wish to lose the grace of God, which you have already acquired and which is worth more than the whole world, for this miserable satisfaction of yours? Do you wish to write your own sentence of eternal death, and condemn yourself to burn forever in hell? "No," you tell me, "I do not wish to damn myself, I wish to save myself; if I commit this sin, afterward I will confess it." Behold the first deception of the tempter. So you tell me that afterward you will confess it; but meanwhile you already lose your soul. Tell me, if you had in your hand a jewel worth a thousand ducats, would you throw it into a river, saying: afterward I will make an effort and hope to find it again? You hold in your hand this beautiful jewel of your soul, which Jesus Christ bought with His blood, and you voluntarily throw it into hell (for by sinning, according to present justice, you remain already damned) and you say: But I hope to recover it by confession? But what if then you do not recover it? To recover it a true repentance is needed, which is a gift of God; what if God does not give you this repentance? And what if death comes and takes away your time to confess?
You say that you will not let a week pass, and you will confess it. And who promises you this week of time? You say that you will confess it tomorrow, and who promises you this tomorrow? St. Augustine writes: «Crastinum Deus non promisit, fortasse dabit, et fortasse non dabit». God has not promised you this day of tomorrow; perhaps He will give it to you, and perhaps He will deny it to you, as He has denied it to so many who went to bed alive in the evening and in the morning were found suddenly dead. How many has the Lord made to die in the very act of sin, and sent to hell? And if He does the same with you, how will you ever be able to remedy your eternal ruin? Know that with this deception of saying, "then I will confess it," the devil has carried thousands and thousands of Christians to hell, for one hardly finds a sinner so desperate that he truly wishes to damn himself; all, when they sin, sin with the hope of confessing, but in this way so many miserable ones have been damned, and now they can no longer remedy it.
But you say: "Now I do not trust myself to resist this temptation." Behold the second deception of the devil, who makes it appear to you that you have no strength to resist the present passion. First of all you must know that God (as St. Paul says) is faithful, and never permits us to be tempted beyond our strength: «Fidelis autem Deus est, qui non patietur vos tentari supra id quod potestis» — "But God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able" (1 Cor. 10:13). Moreover I ask you: if now you do not trust yourself to resist, how will you trust yourself afterward? Afterward the enemy will not cease to tempt you to other sins, and then he will have become much stronger against you, and you weaker. If therefore you do not trust yourself now to put out this flame, how will you trust yourself to put it out after it has grown greater? You say: God will give me His help. But God already gives you this help at present; why, with this help, do you not wish to resist? Do you perhaps hope that God must increase His aids and graces for you, after you have increased your sins? And if you want greater help and strength at present, why do you not ask it of God? Do you perhaps doubt the faithfulness of God, who has promised to give all that is asked of Him? «Petite et dabitur vobis» — "Ask, and it shall be given you" (Matt. 7:7). God cannot fail; have recourse to Him, and He will give you that strength which you need to resist. «Deus impossibilia non iubet», says the Council of Trent, «sed iubendo monet et facere quod possis, et petere quod non possis, et adiuvat ut possis» (Sess. 6, ch. 13). God does not command impossible things, but in giving His precepts He admonishes us to do what we can with the actual help He gives us; when that help is not enough for us to resist, He exhorts us to ask for greater help, and in asking He will indeed give it to us.
Prayer Therefore, my God, since You have been so good to me, why have I been so ungrateful to You? We have vied with each other: I in fleeing from You, and You in coming after me; You in doing good to me, and I in doing evil to You. Ah my Lord, even if there were nothing else, the goodness alone that You have shown me should make me fall in love with You; for after I multiplied my sins, You multiplied Your graces. And how did I deserve the light that You now give me? My Lord, I thank You for it with all my heart, and I hope to come to thank You for it for all eternity in paradise. I hope in Your blood to be saved, and I hope it with certainty, since You have shown me so many mercies. Meanwhile I hope that You will give me strength never to betray You again. I resolve, with Your grace, to die a thousand times rather than offend You again. Enough have I offended You. In the life that remains to me, I wish to love You. And how could I not love a God who, after dying for me, has borne with me with such patience, through so many injuries that I have done Him? God of my soul, I repent of it with all my heart; I could wish to die of sorrow. But if in the past I turned my back on You, now I love You above all things, I love You more than myself. Eternal Father, for the merits of Jesus Christ, help a miserable sinner who wishes to love You.
Mary, my hope, do You help me; obtain for me the grace of always having recourse to Your Son, and to You, every time the devil tempts me to offend Him again.
Point II
He says: "God is merciful." Behold the third common deception of sinners, by which very many are damned. A learned author writes that the mercy of God sends more souls to hell than His justice does; for these wretches, rashly trusting in mercy, do not cease to sin, and so they are lost. God is merciful — who denies it? Yet notwithstanding this, how many does God send to hell every day! He is merciful, but He is also just, and therefore He is bound to punish whoever offends Him. He shows mercy, but to whom? To those who fear Him: «Misericordia sua super timentes se... Misertus est Dominus timentibus se» — "His mercy is upon those who fear Him... The Lord has compassion on those who fear Him" (Ps. 102:11, 13). But with those who despise Him and abuse His mercy in order to despise Him the more, He exercises justice. And rightly so; God forgives sin, but He cannot forgive the will to sin. St. Augustine says that whoever sins with the thought of repenting after he has sinned is not a penitent but a mocker of God: «Irrisor est, non poenitens» — "He is a mocker, not a penitent." But St. Paul, on the contrary, lets us know that God does not allow Himself to be mocked: «Nolite errare, Deus non irridetur» — "Be not deceived, God is not mocked" (Gal. 6:7). It would be mocking God to offend Him as one pleases, and as much as one pleases, and then to lay claim to paradise.
"But since God has shown me so many mercies in the past and has not punished me, so I hope that He will show me mercy in the future." Behold the fourth deception. What then — because God has had compassion on you, must He therefore always show you mercy and never punish you? On the contrary: the greater the mercies He has shown you, the more you must tremble lest He forgive you no more and punish you, if you offend Him again. «Ne dicas: Peccavi, et quid accidit mihi triste? Altissimus enim est patiens redditor» — "Do not say: I have sinned, and what evil has befallen me? For the Most High is a patient rewarder" (Sir. 5:4). Do not say (Ecclesiasticus warns), I have sinned and have received no punishment; for God bears with you, but He does not bear with you always. When the limit He has fixed for the mercies He wills to show a sinner is reached, then He inflicts on him the punishment for all his sins at once. And the longer He has waited for him to repent, the more severely He punishes him, as St. Gregory says: «Quos diutius exspectat, durius damnat» — "Those for whom He waits the longer, He condemns the more severely."
If therefore you see, my brother, that you have offended God many times, and God has not sent you to hell, you ought to say: «Misericordiae Domini, quia non sumus consumti» — "It is of the mercies of the Lord that we are not consumed" (Lam. 3:22). Lord, I thank You that You have not sent me to hell, as I deserved. Think how many have been damned for fewer sins than yours. And with this thought, strive to make amends for the offenses you have committed against God by penance and other good works. This patience that God has had with you should animate you, not to displease Him further, but to serve Him and love Him the more, seeing that He has shown to you so many mercies that He has not shown to others.
Prayer My crucified Jesus, my Redeemer and my God, behold the traitor at Your feet. I am ashamed to appear before You. How many times have I mocked You? How many times have I promised You to offend You no more, yet my promises have all been betrayals; for when the occasion came, I forgot You and again turned my back on You. I thank You that at this hour You do not leave me in hell, but keep me at Your feet, and enlighten me and call me to Your love. Yes, I do wish to love You, my Savior and my God, and I wish to despise You no more. Enough have You borne with me; I see that You can bear with me no longer. Woe is me, if after so many graces I should return to offend You! Lord, I am firmly resolved to change my life; and as much as I have offended You, so much do I wish to love You. I console myself that I have to deal with an infinite goodness, such as You are. I repent, above every evil, of having so despised You, and I promise You all my love for the future. Forgive me, for the merits of Your Passion; forget the injuries I have done You, and give me strength to be faithful to You in the life that remains to me. I love You, my sovereign good, and I hope to love You always. My dear God, I will leave You no more.
O Mother of God, Mary, bind me to Jesus Christ, and obtain for me the grace never to depart from His feet again; in You I trust.
Point III
"But I am young; God makes allowance for youth; later I will give myself to God." We are at the fifth deception. You are young? But do you not know that God does not count the years, but the sins of each one? You are young? But how many sins have you committed? There will be many old men who have not committed even a tenth part of the sins you have committed. And do you not know that the Lord has fixed the number and the measure of the sins He wills to forgive each one? «Dominus patienter exspectat», says Scripture, «ut eas, cum iudicii dies advenerit, in plenitudine peccatorum puniat» — "The Lord waits patiently, that when the day of judgment shall come, He may punish them in the fullness of their sins" (2 Macc. 6:14). This means that God is patient and waits until a certain point; but when the measure of the sins He has determined to forgive is already full, He forgives no more, and punishes the sinner, either by sending him death at once in the state of damnation in which he finds himself, or else by abandoning him in his sin — a punishment worse than death. «Auferam sepem eius, et erit in direptionem» — "I will take away its hedge, and it shall be laid waste" (Isa. 5:5). If you have a field, and you have surrounded it with a hedge, cultivated it for many years, and spent much money on it, and you see that with all this the field yields you no fruit; what do you do? You take away the hedge and leave it abandoned. So tremble lest God do the same with you. If you continue to sin, you will go on losing the remorse of conscience, you will no longer think of eternity or of your soul, you will lose almost all light, you will lose all fear: behold, the hedge is taken away, and behold, the abandonment of God has already arrived.
We come to the last deception. You say: "It is true that with this sin I lose the grace of God and remain condemned to hell, and it may well be that for this sin I am damned; but it may also be that afterward I shall confess and be saved." Yes, sir, I grant you that it may be that you will still be saved, for after all I am not a prophet, so I cannot say for certain that after this sin God will show you mercy no more. But you cannot deny that after so many graces the Lord has bestowed on you, if you now offend Him again, it is very likely that you will remain lost. Thus speak the Scriptures: «Cor durum male habebit in novissimo» — "A hard heart shall fare ill at the last" (Sir. 3:27). The obstinate heart will fare ill in death. «Qui malignantur, exterminabuntur» — "They that do wickedly shall be cut off" (Ps. 36:9). The wicked will finally be exterminated by divine justice. «Quae seminaverit homo, haec et metet» — "What things a man shall sow, those also shall he reap" (Gal. 6:8). He who sows sins will in the end reap only pains and torments. «Vocavi, et renuistis... in interitu vestro ridebo, et subsannabo vos» — "I called, and you refused... I also will laugh in your destruction, and will mock you" (Prov. 1:24). I have called you, says God, and you have mocked me; in your death I will mock you. «Mea est ultio, et ego retribuam in tempore» — "Vengeance is Mine, and I will repay in due time" (Deut. 32:35). To Me belongs the vengeance for sins, and I will repay you when the time comes. Thus then do the Scriptures speak of obstinate sinners. Thus do justice and reason demand. You tell me: "But it may be that even with all this I shall still be saved." And I say again: yes, sir, it may be; but what madness, I say, to rest the eternal salvation of the soul on a "may be," and on a "may be" that is then so unlikely? Is this a matter to be placed in such great peril?
Prayer My dear Redeemer, prostrate at Your feet I thank You that after so many sins You have not abandoned me. How many who have offended You less than I will not have the light that You now give me! I see that You truly wish me to be saved, and I, chiefly to give You pleasure, wish to be saved; I wish to come and sing eternally in heaven these many mercies You have shown me. I hope that by this hour You have already forgiven me; but if I should still find myself in Your disfavor, because I did not know how to repent as I ought of the offenses I have committed against You, now I repent with all my soul, I grieve for them above every evil. Forgive me in Your pity, and ever increase in me the sorrow for having offended You, my God so good. Give me sorrow, and give me love. I love You above all things, but I love You too little; I wish to love You greatly; and this love I ask of You, and from You I hope for it. Hear me, my Jesus; You have promised to hear those who pray to You.
O Mother of God, Mary, all tell me that You never let anyone who recommends himself to You depart disconsolate. O my hope after Jesus, to You I have recourse, and in You I trust; recommend me to Your Son and save me.