«Estote parati, quia qua hora non putatis, Filius hominis veniet» — "Be ready, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come"
(Luke 12:40).
Point I
It is certain that we all must die, but the time is uncertain. «Nihil certius morte (dice l'Idiota), hora autem mortis nihil incertius» — "Nothing is more certain than death (says the Idiot), yet nothing is more uncertain than the hour of death." My brother, the year, the month, the day, the hour, and the moment are already determined in which you and I must leave this earth and enter eternity; but this time is unknown to us. The Lord, so that we may always be prepared, now tells us that death will come like a thief in the night, and secretly: «Sicut fur in nocte, ita veniet» — "Like a thief in the night, so it will come" (1 Thess. 5:2); now He tells us to remain vigilant, because when we least imagine it, He will come to judge us: «Qua hora non putatis, Filius hominis veniet» — "At an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come." St. Gregory says that God hides the hour of death from us for our own good, so that we may always be prepared: «De morte incerti sumus, ut ad mortem semper parati inveniamur» — "We are uncertain about death, so that we may always be found prepared for death." Since, then, death can take our life at any time and in any place, if we wish to die well and be saved, we must (says St. Bernard) be expecting it at every time and in every place: «Mors ubique te exspectat; tu ubique eam exspectabis» — "Death awaits you everywhere; you must await it everywhere."
Everyone knows that he must die, but the trouble is that many perceive death at such a distance that they lose sight of it. Even the most decrepit old people and the most sickly persons flatter themselves that they will live three or four more years. But on the contrary, I say, how many we know of, even in our own days, who have died suddenly! one while sitting, another while walking, another while sleeping in his bed! It is certain that none of them believed he would die so suddenly, and on the very day on which he died. I say further that of all those who in this year have passed to the other life, dying in their bed, none imagined that he would end his days in this year. Few are the deaths that do not come suddenly.
Therefore, my Christian, when the devil tempts you to sin by telling you that tomorrow you will then confess, answer him: And how do I know whether today is the last day of my life? If this hour, this moment in which I were to turn my back on God, were the last for me, so that afterwards there would be no more time for me to remedy it, what would become of me in eternity? How many poor sinners has it happened to that, at the very moment they were feeding on some poisoned bait, they were seized by death and sent to hell? «Sicut pisces capiuntur hamo, sic capiuntur homines in tempore malo» — "As fishes are caught by the hook, so are men caught in the evil time" (Sir. 9:12). The evil time is precisely that in which the sinner is actually offending God. The devil says that this misfortune will not happen to you; but you must say: And if it does happen to me, what will become of me for all eternity?
Affections and Prayers
Lord, the place where I should now be is not this one in which I presently find myself, but hell, which I have so often deserved with my sins: «Infernus domus mea est» — "Hell is my home." But St. Peter warns me: «Deus patienter agit propter vos, nolens aliquos perire, sed omnes ad poenitentiam reverti» — "God deals patiently with you, not willing that any should perish, but that all should return to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:6). So You have had such patience with me and have waited for me, because You do not want to see me lost, but want me to return to repentance. Yes, my God, I return to You, I cast myself at Your feet and ask You for mercy. «Miserere mei Deus, secundum magnam misericordiam tuam» — "Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy." Lord, to forgive me, You need a great and extraordinary mercy, because I have offended You while having the light. Other sinners have also offended You, but they did not have the light that You have given to me. Yet notwithstanding all this, You command me to repent of my sins and to hope for forgiveness from You. Yes, my dear Redeemer, I repent with all my heart of having offended You, and I hope for forgiveness through the merits of Your Passion. You, my Jesus, being innocent, willed to die as a criminal upon a cross and to shed all Your blood to wash away my sins. «O sanguis innocentis, lava culpas poenitentis» — "O blood of the Innocent One, wash the sins of the penitent."
O Eternal Father, forgive me for the love of Jesus Christ; hear His prayers, now that He is praying to You for me, acting as my advocate. But pardon is not enough for me, O God worthy of infinite love; I also want the grace to love You. I love You, O supreme Good, and from today forward I offer You my body, my soul, my will, my liberty. From today forward I want to avoid not only what gravely displeases You, but also what displeases You even slightly. I want to flee all evil occasions. «Ne nos inducas in tentationem» — "And lead us not into temptation." Deliver me, for the love of Jesus Christ, from those occasions in which I would have to offend You. «Sed libera nos a malo» — "But deliver us from evil." Free me from sin, and then punish me as You wish. I accept all the infirmities, the pains, the losses that You may wish to send me; it is enough for me that I do not lose Your grace and Your love. «Petite, et accipietis» — "Ask, and you shall receive." You promise me to give whatever is asked of You: «Petite et accipietis» — "Ask, and you shall receive." These two graces I ask of You: holy perseverance and the grace to love You.
O Mary, Mother of mercy, pray for me; in You I trust.
Point II
The Lord does not want to see us lost, and therefore He does not cease to warn us to change our lives with the threat of punishment. «Nisi conversi fueritis, gladium suum vibrabit» — "Unless you are converted, He will brandish His sword" (Ps. 7:13). Consider (He says elsewhere) how many, because they would not make an end of it, when they least expected it, and were living in peace, certain of living for many years — how suddenly death came upon them: «Cum dixerint pax, et securitas, tunc repentinus eis superveniet interitus» — "When they say peace and security, then sudden destruction will come upon them" (Prov. 29:1). In another place He says: «Nisi poenitentiam egeritis, omnes similiter peribitis» — "Unless you do penance, you will all likewise perish." Why so many warnings of punishment before sending it, if not because He wants us to amend, and thus avoid the bad death? He who says to you, "Watch out," has no desire to kill you, says St. Augustine: «Non vult ferire, qui clamat tibi: Observa» — "He does not wish to strike, who cries out to you: Take heed."
It is therefore necessary to prepare your accounts before the day of accounts arrives. My Christian, if before nightfall this very day you were to die, and the cause of your eternal life had to be decided, tell me, would you find your accounts prepared? Or how much would you pay to obtain from God another year, a month, at least another day of time? And why, now that God is already giving you this time, do you not set your conscience in order? Can it not perhaps be that this day is the last for you? «Non tardes converti ad Dominum, et non differas de die in diem; subito enim veniet ira illius, et in tempore vindictae disperdet te» — "Do not delay to be converted to the Lord, and do not put it off from day to day; for His wrath will come suddenly, and in the time of vengeance He will destroy you" (Sir. 5:9). To save yourself, my brother, you must leave sin; if then you must leave it one day, why do you not leave it now? «Si aliquando, cur non modo?» — "If at some time, why not now?" (St. Augustine). Are you perhaps waiting for death to arrive? But the time of death is not a time of pardon, but of vengeance. «In tempore vindictae disperdet te» — "In the time of vengeance He will destroy you" (Sir. loc. cit.).
If someone owes you a large sum, you quickly protect yourself by having a written obligation drawn up, saying: Who knows what may happen? And why then do you not use the same caution for your soul, which is worth far more than that sum? Why do you not say the same: Who knows what may happen? If you lose that sum, you do not lose everything; and even if, by losing it, you were to lose your whole patrimony, you would still retain the hope of regaining it; but if at death you lose your soul, then you will truly have lost everything, and there will no longer be for you any hope of recovering it. You are so diligent in recording the records of the goods you possess, for fear they may be lost, should a sudden death befall you; and if by chance this sudden death does befall you, and you find yourself in disgrace with God, what will become of your soul for all eternity?
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my Redeemer, You have shed all Your blood, You have given Your life to save my soul, and I have so many times lost it by presuming on Your mercy. So then, how many times have I made use of Your goodness — and for what? To offend You the more? For this very reason I deserved that You should at once make me die and send me to hell. In short, I have contended with You: You in showing me mercy, I in offending You. You in pursuing me, I in fleeing from You. You in giving me time to remedy the evil I had done, and I in using it to add injury upon injury. Lord, make me know the great wrong I have done You and the obligation that remains to me of loving You.
Ah, my Jesus, how could I have been so dear to You, that You pursued me so much, when I was driving You away? How could You have granted so many graces to one who has given You so much displeasure? From all this I see how greatly You desire not to see me lost. I repent with all my heart of having offended You, O infinite goodness. Ah, receive this ungrateful little sheep, which in repentance returns to Your feet: receive it and clasp it upon Your shoulders, so that it may never flee from You again. No, I no longer wish to flee from You; I want to love You, I want to be Yours; and provided I see myself as Yours, I am content with every pain. And what greater pain could befall me than to live without Your grace, separated from You who are my God, who created me and died for me? O accursed sins, what have you done? You have made me displease my Savior, who has loved me so much.
Ah, my Jesus, as You died for me, so should I die for You: You for love, I for sorrow at having despised You. I accept death, when and as it pleases You; but until now I have not loved You, or have loved You too little; I do not want to die like this. Ah, grant me a little more life, so that I may love You before I die; therefore change my heart, wound it, inflame it with Your holy love: do it for that affection of charity which made You die for me. I love You with all my soul. My soul has fallen in love with You. Do not permit it ever to lose You again. Give me holy perseverance, give me Your love.
Mary Most Holy, my refuge and my Mother, act as my advocate.
Point III
«Estote parati» — "Be ready." The Lord does not say that we should prepare ourselves when death arrives, but that we should be found already prepared. When death comes, then, in that storm and confusion, it will be almost impossible to set right a troubled conscience. So says reason. So God threatens, saying that then He will come not to pardon, but to take vengeance for the contempt shown to His graces: «Mihi vindicta, et ego retribuam in tempore» — "Vengeance is Mine, and I will repay in due time" (Rom. 12:19). This, says St. Augustine, will be a just punishment for him who, being able, was unwilling to save himself — that he should be unable when he wishes: «Iusta poena est, ut qui recta facere cum posset noluit, amittat posse cum velit» — "It is a just punishment that he who would not do right when he could, should lose the power when he wills" (On Free Will, Book 3). But someone will say: Who knows? Perhaps I shall still be converted then and be saved. But would you throw yourself into a well, saying: Who knows? Perhaps by throwing myself in I will remain alive and not die? O God, what is this? How sin blinds the mind, so that it loses even reason! Men, when it concerns the body, speak wisely; but when it concerns the soul, they speak like madmen.
My brother, who knows whether this point you are reading is the last warning God sends you? Let us quickly prepare ourselves for death, so that it does not overtake us suddenly. St. Augustine says that the Lord hides from us the last day of our life, so that on all our days we may be prepared to die: «Latet ultimus dies, ut observentur omnes dies» — "The last day is hidden, that all days may be kept" (Hom. 13). St. Paul warns us that we must labor for our salvation not only with fear, but also with trembling: «Cum metu et tremore vestram salutem operamini» — "With fear and trembling work out your salvation" (Phil. 2:12). St. Antoninus relates that a certain king of Sicily, to make a subject understand the fear with which he sat upon the throne, had him sit at table with a sword hanging by a slender thread over his head, so that, sitting thus, the man could scarcely take a little food. All of us live in the same danger, since at every moment the sword of death may fall upon us, on which our eternal salvation depends.
Eternity is at stake. «Si ceciderit lignum ad austrum, aut ad aquilonem, in quocunque loco ceciderit, ibi erit» — "If a tree falls to the south or to the north, in whatever place it falls, there it shall remain" (Eccles. 11:3). If, when death comes, we find ourselves in the grace of God, oh what joy it will be for the soul to be able then to say: I have secured everything, I can no longer lose God, I shall be happy forever. But if death finds the soul in sin, what despair it will be to say: «Ergo erravimus» — "Therefore we have erred." So I have erred, and for my error there will be no remedy for all eternity? This fear made the Ven. Master Avila, apostle of Spain, say when the news of his death was brought to him: "Oh, if only I had a little more time to prepare myself to die!" This made the Abbot Agatho say, although he died after so many years of penance: "What will become of me? Who can know the judgments of God!" St. Arsenius also trembled at death, and when asked by his disciples why he feared so, he answered: "My children, this fear is not new to me; I have had it all my life." Above all, holy Job trembled, saying: «Quid faciam, cum surrexerit ad iudicandum Deus? et cum quaesierit, quid respondebo illi?» — "What shall I do when God rises up to judge? And when He shall call me to account, what shall I answer Him?"
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, where have I ever had anyone who loved me more than You? And whom have I ever despised and injured more than You? O blood, O wounds of Jesus, you are my hope. Eternal Father, look not upon my sins; look upon the wounds of Jesus Christ; look upon Your beloved Son, who dies of sorrow for me and asks You to forgive me. I repent, O my Creator, of having offended You; I am grieved for it more than for every other evil. You created me to love You, and I have lived as if You had created me to offend You. For the love of Jesus Christ, forgive me and give me the grace to love You.
Before, I resisted Your will: now I want to resist no longer; I want to do whatever You command me. You command me to detest the outrages I have committed against You: behold, I detest them with all my heart. You command me to resolve to offend You no more: behold, I resolve to lose my life a thousand times rather than Your grace. You command me to love You with all my heart: yes, with all my heart I love You, and I want to love nothing but You. From this day forward, You must be my only beloved and my only love. From You I ask, and from You I hope for, holy perseverance. For the love of Jesus Christ, make me faithful to You, so that I may always say to You with St. Bonaventure: «Unus est dilectus meus, unus amicus meus» — "One is my beloved, one is my friend." No, I do not want my life to serve any longer to displease You; I want it to serve only to weep for the displeasure I have caused You and to love You.
Mary, my Mother, You pray for all who commend themselves to You; pray also to Jesus for me.