«Non est pax impiis, dicit Dominus» — "There is no peace for the wicked, says the Lord" (Isa. 48:22). «Pax multa diligentibus legem tuam» — "Great peace have they who love Your law" (Ps. 118:165).
Point I
All men in this life labor to find peace. That merchant toils, that soldier, that litigant, because he thinks that with that gain, with that post, or by winning that lawsuit he will make his fortune and so find peace. But poor worldlings, who seek peace in the world, which cannot give it! God alone can give us peace: «Da servis tuis (prega la santa Chiesa) illam, quam mundus dare non potest, pacem» — "Give to Your servants (the holy Church prays) that peace which the world cannot give." No, the world with all its goods cannot satisfy the heart of man, because man is not created for these goods, but for God alone; hence only God can satisfy him. Beasts, which are created for the pleasures of the senses, find their peace in the goods of the earth: give a mule a bundle of grass, give a dog a piece of meat — behold, they are content; they desire nothing more. But the soul, which is created only to love God and to be united with God, will never be able to find its peace amid all the pleasures of the senses; only God can make it fully content.
That rich man of whom St. Luke speaks (Luke 12:19), having gathered a good harvest from his fields, said to himself: «Anima, habes multa bona posita in annos plurimos, requiesce, comede, bibe» — "Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your rest, eat, drink." But this unhappy rich man was called a fool — «Stulte» — "You fool" — and rightly so, says St. Basil: «Nunquid animam porcinam habes?» — "Do you perhaps have the soul of a pig?" Wretch (the saint says to him), do you perhaps have the soul of some pig, of some beast, that you expect to satisfy your soul with eating, with drinking, with the pleasures of the senses? «Requiesce, comede, bibe?» — "Take your rest, eat, drink?" By the goods of the world a man may be filled, but never satisfied: «Inflari potest, satiari non potest» — "He can be puffed up, but he cannot be sated," says St. Bernard. And the same saint writes, concerning the Gospel words «Ecce nos reliquimus omnia» — "Behold, we have left all things" — that he had seen different madmen with different madnesses. He says that all of them suffered a great hunger, but some sated themselves with earth — a figure of the avaricious; others with air — a figure of those who covet honors; others, standing around a furnace, caught in their mouths the sparks that flew out of it — a figure of the irascible; others, finally, drank the stagnant waters of a fetid lake — a figure of the unchaste. Then, turning to them, the saint says: O madmen, do you not see that these things increase your hunger rather than take it away? «Haec potius famem provocant, quam exstinguunt» — "These things provoke hunger rather than extinguish it." The goods of the world are apparent goods, and therefore they cannot satisfy the heart of man. «Comedistis, et non estis satiati» — "You have eaten, and have not been satisfied" (Hag. 1:6). And therefore the more the miser acquires, the more he seeks to acquire. St. Augustine: «Maior pecunia avaritiae fauces non claudit, sed extendit» — "Greater wealth does not close the jaws of avarice, but stretches them wider." The unchaste man, the more he wallows in filth, the more he is left both nauseated and famished; and how could dung and sensual filth ever satisfy the heart? The same happens to the ambitious man, who wishes to sate himself on smoke, since the ambitious man looks more at what he lacks than at what he has. Alexander the Great, after having conquered so many kingdoms, wept because he lacked dominion over the rest. If the goods of this earth satisfied man, the rich, the monarchs would be fully happy, but experience shows the opposite. So says Solomon, who declares that he denied nothing to his senses: «Et omnia, quae desideraverunt oculi mei, non negavi eis» — "And all that my eyes desired, I did not deny them" (Eccles. 2:10). But with all this, what does he say? «Vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas» — "Vanity of vanities, and all is vanity" (ibid. 1:2). And he means: everything that is in the world is sheer vanity, sheer falsehood, sheer folly.
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, what do I gain from the offenses I have committed against You, if not pains, bitternesses, and merits for hell? I am not displeased by the bitterness I now feel on their account; on the contrary, it consoles me, since it is a gift of Your grace and makes me hope (because You give it to me) that You wish to forgive me. What grieves me is the displeasure and bitterness I have given to You, my Redeemer, who have loved me so much. I deserved, my Lord, that You should then have abandoned me; but instead of abandoning me, I see that You offer me pardon — indeed, You are the first to ask me for peace. Yes, my Jesus, I wish to make peace, and I desire Your grace more than every good. I repent, O infinite Goodness, of having offended You; I would wish to die of sorrow. Ah, by that love You bore me in breathing Your last for me on the cross, forgive me and receive me into Your Heart, and change my heart, so that as much displeasure as I have given You in the past, so much delight may I give You in the future. For love of You I now renounce all the pleasures the world can give me; and I resolve to lose my life rather than Your grace. Tell me what I must do to please You, for I wish to do it all. What pleasures! what honors! what riches! I want only You, my God, my joy, my glory, my treasure, my life, my love, my all. Give me, Lord, the strength to be faithful to You. Grant me to love You, and do with me whatever You please.
Mary, my Mother and my hope after Jesus, receive me into Your protection and make me wholly God's.
Point II
But Solomon says not only that the goods of this world are vanity, that they do not satisfy, but that they are pains that afflict the spirit: «Et ecce universa vanitas, et afflictio spiritus» — "And behold, all is vanity and affliction of spirit" (Eccl. 1:14). Poor sinners! They expect to make themselves happy with their sins, but they find only bitterness and remorse: «Contritio, et infelicitas in viis eorum, et viam pacis non cognoverunt» — "Destruction and misery are in their ways, and the way of peace they have not known" (Ps. 13:3). What peace! What peace! No, says God: «Non est pax impiis, dicit Dominus» — "There is no peace for the wicked, says the Lord" (Isa. 48:22). First of all, sin brings with it the terror of divine vengeance. If someone has a powerful enemy, he never eats or sleeps in quiet; and can one who has God for an enemy remain at peace? «Pavor his qui operantur malum» — "Fear is for those who work evil" (Prov. 10:29). He who lives in sin — if he feels the earth tremble, if he hears thunder — oh how he trembles! Every leaf that moves frightens him. «Sonitus terroris semper in aure eius» — "The sound of terror is always in his ears" (Job 15:21). He is always fleeing, without seeing who pursues him. «Fugit impius, nemine persequente» — "The wicked man flees when no one pursues" (Prov. 28:1). And who pursues him? His own sin. Cain, after he killed his brother Abel, said: «Omnis igitur, qui invenerit me, occidet me» — "Everyone, therefore, who finds me will kill me" (Gen. 4:14). And although the Lord assured him that no one would harm him: «Dixitque ei Dominus: Nequaquam ita fiet» — "And the Lord said to him: By no means shall it be so"; yet Scripture says that Cain «habitavit profugus in terra» — "lived as a fugitive in the land" (Ibid.): he kept fleeing from one place to another. Who was Cain's persecutor, if not his own sin?
Moreover, sin carries with it the remorse of conscience, which is that tyrant worm that gnaws unceasingly. The wretched sinner goes to the play, to the party, to the banquet: but you (his conscience says to him) are out of God's favor; if you die, where will you go? The remorse of conscience is so great a torment even in this life that some, to free themselves from it, have gone so far as to take their own lives. One of these was Judas who, as is known, hanged himself in despair. It is told of another that, having killed a child, he went to become a religious in order to escape the pain of remorse; but finding no peace even in religion, he went and confessed his crime to the judge, and had himself condemned to death.
What is a soul that lives without God? The Holy Spirit says it is a stormy sea: «Impii autem quasi mare fervens, quod quiescere non potest» — "But the wicked are like the raging sea, which cannot rest" (Isa. 57:20). I ask: if someone were brought to a feast of music, dancing, and refreshments, and were hanging there by his feet with his head downward, could he enjoy the amusement? Such is the man who lives with his soul turned upside down, standing amid the goods of this world but without God. He will eat, he will drink, he will dance; he may well wear that rich garment, receive those honors, obtain that position, that property — but he will never have peace. «Non est pax impiis» — "There is no peace for the wicked." Peace is obtained from God alone, and God gives it to his friends, not to his enemies.
The goods of this earth, says St. Vincent Ferrer, remain outside; they do not enter the heart: «Sunt aquae, quae non intrant illuc, ubi est sitis» — "They are waters that do not enter where the thirst is." That sinner may wear a fine embroidered garment, have a beautiful diamond on his finger, eat to his heart's content; but his poor heart will remain full of thorns and gall. And so you will see that, with all his riches, delights, and amusements, he is always restless; at every contrary thing he flies into a rage and fumes, becoming like a mad dog. He who loves God, in adverse things resigns himself to the divine will, and finds peace; but this cannot be done by one who lives as an enemy of God's will, and therefore he has no way to find rest. The wretch serves the devil; he serves a tyrant who pays him with troubles and bitterness. And the words of God cannot fail, which say: «Eo quod non servieris Deo tuo in gaudio, servies inimico tuo in fame, et siti, et nuditate, et omni penuria» — "Because you did not serve your God in joy, you shall serve your enemy in hunger, and thirst, and nakedness, and in want of all things" (Deut. 28:48). What does that vengeful man not suffer after he has taken his revenge! That unchaste man after he has attained his desire! That ambitious man! That miser! Oh, how many, if they suffered for God what they suffer to damn themselves, would become great saints!
Affections and Prayers
Oh, my lost life! Oh, if I had suffered in serving You, my God, the pains I have suffered in offending You, how many merits would I now have stored up for paradise! Ah, my Lord, why did I leave You and lose Your grace? For poisoned and fleeting pleasures, which vanished as soon as they were had and left my heart full of thorns and bitterness. Ah, my sins, I detest you, and a thousand times I curse you; and I bless Your mercy, my God, who has borne with me with such patience. I love You, O my Creator and Redeemer, who gave Your life for me; and because I love You, I repent with all my heart of having offended You. My God, my God, why did I lose You? Why did I exchange You? Now I know the evil I have done, and I resolve to lose everything, even life itself, rather than Your love. Give me light, Eternal Father, for the love of Jesus Christ; make me know the great Good that You are, and the baseness of the goods that the devil sets before me to make me lose Your grace. I love You, but I desire to love You more. Make it so that You alone are my only thought, my only desire, my only love; I hope for all things from Your goodness, through the merits of Your Son.
Mary, my Mother, for the love You bear to Jesus Christ, I beg You to obtain for me light and strength to serve Him and to love Him until death.
Point III
Therefore, all the goods and delights of the world cannot satisfy the heart of man; and who can satisfy it? God alone. «Delectare in Domino et dabit tibi petitiones cordis tui» — "Delight in the Lord, and he will give you the petitions of your heart" (Ps. 36:4). The heart of man is ever seeking the good that will satisfy it. It obtains riches, pleasures, honors, and is not satisfied, because these are finite goods and it is created for an infinite good; let it find God, let it unite itself with God — and behold, it is now content, it desires nothing more. «Delectare in Domino, et dabit tibi petitiones cordis tui.» — "Delight in the Lord, and he will give you the petitions of your heart." St. Augustine, throughout the life he led amid the pleasures of the senses, never found peace. When he later gave himself to God, then he confessed and said to the Lord: «Inquietum est cor nostrum, donec requiescat in te» — "Our heart is restless until it rests in You." My God, he said, now I know that everything is vanity and pain, and You alone are the true peace of the soul. «Dura sunt omnia, et tu solus requies» — "All things are hard, and You alone are rest." Whereupon, having become a teacher at his own expense, he wrote: «Quid quaeris homuncio, quaerendo bona? quaere unum bonum, in quo sunt omnia bona» — "What do you seek, little man, in seeking after goods? Seek the one good in which are all goods." David, being king, while he lived in sin, went to the hunt, to the gardens, to banquets, and to all the other royal delights; but the banquets, the gardens, and all the other creatures he enjoyed said to him: David, do you seek to be satisfied by us? No, we cannot satisfy you: «Ubi est Deus tuus?» — "Where is your God?" Go, find your God, for he alone can satisfy you. And therefore David, amid all his delights, did nothing but weep: «Lacrimae meae fuerunt panes die ac nocte, dum dicitur mihi quotidie, ubi est Deus tuus?» — "My tears have been my bread day and night, while it is said to me daily: Where is your God?" (Ps. 41:4).
Oh, how well, on the contrary, does God know how to satisfy the faithful souls that love him! St. Francis of Assisi, having left everything for God, though he found himself barefoot, with a rag upon him, dead with cold and hunger, in saying «Deus meus et omnia» — "My God and my all" — experienced a paradise. St. Francis Borgia, after he became a religious and on his journeys had to sleep on straw, felt such consolation that because of it he could not fall asleep. St. Philip Neri likewise, having left everything, when he went to rest, God consoled him so greatly that he came to say: But, my Jesus Christ, let me sleep. Fr. Charles of Lorraine, a Jesuit of the princes of Lorraine, finding himself in his poor cell, would sometimes begin to dance for joy. St. Francis Xavier in the countryside of the Indies would bare his breast, saying: «Sat est, Domine» — "It is enough, Lord; no more consolation, for my heart cannot bear it." St. Teresa used to say that a single drop of heavenly consolation gives more contentment than all the pleasures and amusements of the world. For indeed the promises of God cannot fail — to give to whoever leaves the goods of the world for his love, even in this life, a hundredfold of peace and contentment. «Qui reliquerit domum, vel fratres, etc. propter nomen meum, centuplum accipiet, et vitam aeternam possidebit» — "Whoever shall leave house or brothers, etc., for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall possess eternal life" (Matt. 19:29).
What then are we seeking? Let us go to Jesus Christ, who calls us and says: «Venite ad me omnes, qui laboratis, et onerati estis, et ego reficiam vos» — "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will refresh you" (Matt. 11:28). For a soul that loves God finds a peace that surpasses all the pleasures and satisfactions that the senses and the world can give. «Pax Dei quae exsuperat omnem sensum» — "The peace of God which surpasses all understanding" (Phil. 4:7). It is true that in this life even the saints suffer, because this earth is a place of merit, and one cannot merit without suffering; but St. Bonaventure says that divine love is like honey, which makes the most bitter things sweet and delightful. Whoever loves God loves His will, and therefore rejoices in spirit even amid bitterness; for in embracing bitterness he knows that he pleases Him and gives Him joy. O God, sinners insist on despising the spiritual life, yet without ever tasting it! «Vident crucem, sed non vident unctionem» — "They see the cross, but they do not see the anointing," says St. Bernard; they look only at the mortifications suffered by the lovers of God and the pleasures of which they deprive themselves, but they do not see the spiritual delights with which the Lord caresses them. Oh, if sinners would only taste the peace enjoyed by a soul that wants nothing but God! «Gustate, et videte» — "Taste and see" (says David) «quam suavis est Dominus» — "how sweet the Lord is" (Ps. 33). My brother, begin to meditate every day, to receive Holy Communion often, to spend time before the Blessed Sacrament; begin to leave the world and to make your peace with God, and you will see that the Lord will console you more in that little time you spend with Him than the world has consoled you with all its amusements. «Gustate, et videte» — "Taste and see." He who does not taste it cannot understand how God satisfies a soul that loves Him.
Affections and Prayers
My dear Redeemer, how was I so blind in the past as to leave You, the infinite good, the fountain of all consolations, for the miserable and fleeting satisfactions of the senses! I marvel at my blindness, but I marvel still more at Your mercy, which has borne with me with such goodness. I thank You that You now make me see my folly and the obligation I have to love You. I love You, my Jesus, with all my soul, and I desire to love You more. Do You increase my desire and my love. Make me enamored of You, O infinitely lovable One, who have nothing left to do to be loved by me, and who so greatly desire my love. «Si vis, potes me mundare» — "If You will, You can make me clean." Ah, my dear Redeemer, cleanse my heart of so many impure affections that keep me from loving You as I would wish. It is not within my power to make my heart burn wholly for You and love nothing but You; it must be the work of Your grace, which can do whatever it wills. Detach me from everything; drive out of my soul every affection that is not for You, and make me wholly Yours. I repent, more than for any other evil, of all the displeasure I have caused You, and I resolve to consecrate the life that remains to me entirely to Your holy love; but You must do it. Do it for the sake of that blood which You shed for me with such pain and such love. May it be the glory of Your power to make my heart, which once was full of earthly affections, now all flames of love for You, O infinite good.
O Mother of fair love, make me by Your prayers what You always were — all aflame with charity toward God.