«Memorare novissima tua, et in aeternum non peccabis» — "Remember your last end, and you shall never sin" (Sir. 7:40).
Point I
All confess that we must die, and die only once; and that there is nothing of greater consequence than this, since on the moment of death depends our being blessed or damned forever. All know too that on living well or badly depends making a good or a bad death. Then how is it that most Christians live as though they never had to die, or as though it mattered little whether they die well or badly? We live badly because we do not think of death: «Memorare novissima tua, et in aeternum non peccabis» — "Remember your last end, and you shall never sin." We must convince ourselves that the time of death is not the proper time for settling accounts in order to secure the great affair of eternal salvation. The prudent of this world, in earthly affairs, take all their measures in due time to obtain that profit, that post, that marriage; for the health of the body they do not delay the necessary remedies in the least. What would you say of a man who had to fight a duel or compete for a professorship, if he wanted to wait to prepare himself until the time had already arrived? Would that captain not be mad who, in the midst of a siege, put off making provision of food and arms? And mad too that helmsman who neglected to provide himself with anchors and cables until the time of the storm? Just such is that Christian who puts off setting his conscience in order until death has arrived. «Cum interitus quasi tempestas ingruerit... tunc invocabunt me, et non exaudiam; comedent fructus vitae suae» — "When destruction comes upon you like a storm... then they shall call upon me, and I will not hear; they shall eat the fruit of their own life" (Prov. 1:27). The time of death is a time of storm, of confusion; then sinners call upon God for help, but only out of fear of hell, which they see near at hand, without true conversion, and therefore God does not hear them. And therefore they will justly taste then only the fruits of their evil life. «Quae seminaverit homo, haec et metet» — "What a man has sown, that also shall he reap." Ah, it is not enough then to receive the sacraments; one must die hating sin and loving God above all things; but how will he hate illicit pleasures who up to then will have loved them? How will he love God then above all things who up to that point will have loved creatures more than God?
The Lord calls foolish those virgins (for such they were) who wanted to prepare their lamps when the bridegroom was already coming. Everyone fears sudden death, because then there is no time to settle one's accounts. Everyone acknowledges that the Saints were the truly wise, because they prepared themselves for death before death came. And what are we doing? Do we want to wait to prepare ourselves to die well when death is already near? We must therefore do now what we will wish to have done at death. Oh, what pain the memory of time badly spent will cause then! Time given by God to gain merit, but time that has passed and returns no more. What anguish it will cause then to hear it said: «Iam non poteris amplius villicare» — "You can no longer be steward." There is no more time to do penance, to frequent the sacraments, to hear sermons, to visit Jesus Christ in the churches, to pray; what is done is done. You would then need a sounder mind and a quieter time to make your confession as it should be made, to resolve various points of serious scruple, and thus to quiet your conscience; but «tempus non erit amplius» — "there shall be no more time."
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, if I had died on those nights that You know of, where would I be now? I thank You for having waited for me, and I thank You for all those moments in which I would have had to be in hell, from that first moment when I offended You. Ah, give me light, and make me know the great wrong I have done You in voluntarily losing Your grace, which You merited for me by sacrificing Yourself for me upon a cross. Ah, my Jesus, forgive me, while I repent with all my heart, more than for any other evil, of having despised You, infinite Goodness. I hope that You have already forgiven me. Ah, help me, O my Savior, so that I may never lose You again. Ah, my Lord, if I were to return to offending You after so many lights and so many graces received from You, would I not deserve a hell made just for me? Ah, do not permit it, through the merits of that blood which You shed for love of me. Give me holy perseverance, give me Your love. I love You, O Sovereign Good, and I do not want to cease loving You until death. My God, have pity on me for love of Jesus Christ.
Have pity on me also, O Mary, my hope; commend me to God; Your commendations meet no refusal with that Lord who loves You so much.
Point II
Quickly then, my brother, since it is certain that you must die, place yourself at the feet of the Crucifix, and thank Him for the time that in His mercy He gives you to set your conscience in order; and then review all the disorders of your past life, especially those of your youth. Glance over the divine precepts, examine the offices you have exercised, the company you have kept, and note down in writing your failings; and make a general confession of your whole life, if you have not yet made one. Oh, how much a general confession helps to set the life of a Christian in good order! Consider that these are accounts for eternity, and therefore settle them as though you were now at the point of having to render them to Jesus Christ the Judge. Drive from your heart every evil affection, every rancor; remove now every scruple concerning others' goods, reputation taken away, scandals given; and resolve to flee those occasions in which you may lose God. Consider that what now seems difficult to you will at the point of death seem impossible to you.
What matters is that you resolve to put into practice the means of keeping yourself in the grace of God. The means are: Mass every day, meditation on the eternal truths, frequent confession and Holy Communion at least every eight days, a visit every day to the Blessed Sacrament and to Mary Most Holy, the pious congregation, spiritual reading, the examination of conscience every evening, some special devotion to Mary Most Holy such as fasting on Saturday; and above all, resolve to commend yourself often to God and to Mary Most Holy by frequently invoking, and especially in time of temptation, the most holy names of Jesus and Mary. These are the means that can obtain for you a good death and eternal salvation.
Doing this will be a great sign for you of your predestination. And as for the past, trust in the blood of Jesus Christ, who now gives you these lights because He wills you to be saved, and trust in the intercession of Mary, who obtains these lights for you. With such a rule of life and confidence in Jesus and Mary, oh how God helps, and what strength the soul acquires! Quickly then, my reader, give yourself entirely to God who calls you; and begin to enjoy that peace of which until now, through your own fault, you have been deprived. And what greater peace can a soul feel than to be able to say, on going to bed at night: If death comes tonight, I hope to die in the grace of God! What consolation it is to hear the crash of the thunder, to see the earth tremble, and to be awaiting death with resignation, if God so disposes!
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my Lord, how I thank You for the light that You give me. I have left You so many times, I have turned my back on You; but You have not abandoned me; if You had abandoned me, I would have remained blind, as I chose to be in the past; I would be obstinate in my sin and would have neither the will to leave it nor the will to love You. Now I feel a great sorrow for having offended You, a great desire to remain in Your grace; I feel a horror of those accursed pleasures that made me lose Your friendship; all these are graces that come to me from You and make me hope that You will to forgive me and to save me. Since, then, with all my sins You have not abandoned me and You will my salvation; behold, Lord, I give myself entirely to You, I repent above every other evil of having offended You, and I resolve to lose my life a thousand times rather than Your grace. I love You, my Sovereign Good; I love You, my Jesus, who died for me; and I hope in Your blood that You will not permit me ever to be separated from You again. No, my Jesus, I do not want to lose You. I want to love You always in life, I want to love You in death, I want to love You for all eternity. Do You, then, ever preserve me and increase my love for You; I ask this of You through Your merits.
Mary, my hope, pray to Jesus for me.
Point III
Moreover, we must strive to find ourselves at every hour as we desire to find ourselves at death. «Beati mortui, qui in Domino moriuntur» — "Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord" (Rev. 14). St. Ambrose says that those die well who at the time of death are already dead to the world, that is, detached from those goods from which death will then have to separate us by force. So we must from now accept the stripping away of possessions, the separation from relatives and from all the things of this earth. If we do not do this voluntarily in life, we shall have to do it necessarily at death, but then with extreme sorrow and with danger to our eternal salvation. And in this regard St. Augustine observes that it greatly helps toward dying peacefully to settle one's temporal affairs during life, making from now the disposition of the goods that must be left, so that at death the person may be occupied only in uniting himself with God. Then it is good to speak only of God and of paradise. Those last moments are too precious to be wasted on thoughts of earth. At death the crown of the elect is completed, for then perhaps the best harvest of merits is made, in embracing those sorrows and that death with resignation and love.
But he will not be able to have these good dispositions at death who has not exercised them in life. To this end, some devout persons practice with great profit the renewal every month of the Protestation of Death with the Christian acts, after having confessed and received Holy Communion, picturing themselves already dying and near to departing this life. («In our little book of the Visit to the Blessed Sacrament this Protestation with the acts may be found, which can be read in a short time, for it is brief»). What is not done in life is very difficult to do at death. The great servant of God Sister Catherine of St. Albert, a Teresian nun, sighed as she was dying and said: Sisters, I do not sigh for fear of death, for I have been awaiting it for twenty-five years; I sigh to see so many deluded souls who spend their life in sin and are reduced to making peace with God at death, when I can scarcely pronounce the name of Jesus.
Examine then, my brother, whether your heart is now attached to something of earth, to that person, to that honor, to that house, to that money, to that company, to those amusements; consider that you are not eternal. You must leave it one day, and perhaps soon; and why do you wish to remain attached to it, putting yourself at risk of making a restless death? Offer everything to God from now, ready to deprive yourself of it whenever it pleases Him. If you wish to die resigned, you must from now resign yourself to all the contrary accidents that may befall you, and strip yourself of affection for the things of earth. Place the moment of death before your eyes and you will despise everything. «Facile contemnit omnia qui semper se cogitat moriturum» (says St. Jerome) — "He easily despises all things who always considers that he is going to die."
If you have not yet chosen your state in life, choose the state you would wish to have chosen when you are at the point of death, and which will give you a more peaceful death. If you have already chosen it, then do what you would wish to have done in that state at that moment. Live as though every day were the last of your life, and every action the last you will perform — your last prayer, your last confession, your last Holy Communion. Imagine that at any hour you found yourself dying, stretched out on a bed, hearing that summons: «Proficiscere de hoc mundo» — "Depart from this world." Oh, how much this thought will help you to walk well and to detach yourself from the world: «Beatus ille servus, quem, cum venerit Dominus eius, inveniet sic facientem» — "Blessed is that servant whom his lord, when he comes, finds so doing" (Matt. 24:46). He who awaits death at every hour, even should he die suddenly, will not fail to die well.
Affections and Prayers
Every Christian must be prepared to say, at the moment when the news of death is given him, something like this: So, my God, only a few hours remain to me? I wish to spend them loving You as much as I can in this present life, so as to love You more in the next. Little remains for me to offer You; I offer You these sufferings and the sacrifice of my life, in union with the sacrifice that Jesus Christ offered You for me on the cross. Lord, the pains I suffer are few and light compared with those I have deserved: such as they are, I embrace them as a sign of the love I bear You. I resign myself to all the punishments You wish to send me in this life and in the next, provided that I may love You for eternity. Punish me as You please, but do not deprive me of Your love. I know I would no longer deserve to love You, having so many times despised Your love; but You cannot cast away a repentant soul. I repent, O Supreme Good, of having offended You. I love You with all my heart, and in You I place all my trust. Your death, O my Redeemer, is my hope. Into Your wounded hands I commend my soul. «In manus tuas commendo spiritum meum; redemisti me, Domine Deus veritatis» — "Into Your hands I commend my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, God of truth." O my Jesus, You have shed Your blood to save me; do not permit me to be separated from You. I love You, O eternal God, and I hope to love You for eternity.
Mary, my Mother, help me at that great moment. Now into Your hands I consign my spirit; tell Your Son to have pity on me. To You I commend myself; deliver me from hell.